ajwa

who would have thought you’d turn out this way?

i wasn’t expecting you to be like this

but you are. and that’s my fault for being optimistic and hoping for the best from you.

you let me in and treated me the way any friend would want to be treated. you asked me about my day and talked to me about yours. we sent each other photos like it was normal. and we told each other our deepest secrets. we were like separated sisters. only we weren’t separated and you were there the whole time.

i tried so hard to see the good in you, despite all the bad you’ve ever done to me. i looked past it all and looked forward to talking to you about newer things all the time. we did this all throughout high school, even when we didn’t see each other often. we still found a way to talk to one another.

until college came around. you became distant. i was in another city. you didn’t drive. i couldn’t come to you. we got busy. school was taking up our time. distance wasn’t helping either but we still tried to make time. only it wasn’t the same. we never got to meet up and life just took us away from each other day by day. that’s when we became distant.

you found your own way through college and i found mine. we weren’t really like each other, in the ways we thought we were. we were total opposites. you got involved with the wrong crowd and they led you astray.

i tried to call you. text you. start a conversation or do anything to get you back. but you were distracted. you had other things going on and you didn’t need me in your life anymore. 

it was starting to upset me. after everything i ever did for you. everything i gave up just to spend time with you. and the little sacrifices i made just to make time for you only… 

you decided it was time for you to go. and it began to make sense why you were becoming distant.

for reasons i can’t mention, you just didn’t want to be with anyone anymore. it was like you turned into a different person. you no longer wanted to be in my life but i still persisted on in keeping you in mine.

i just wanted to fit in to your life somehow. 

even when it seemed like you didn’t want the same.