ajwa

i go to sleep and place all my worries into your hands. ya Allah you know me best and you know what’s best for me. make my intentions great and help me better myself and my connection with you first before i ask for anything else. i want to rely on you for everything but i can’t do that if i can’t even bring myself to pray my prayers on time. if i can’t even bring my hands up to thank you for everything i have and everything you’ve done for me. you help me and guide me every day but i mistakenly take it for granted. out of my own spoiled self of always being taken care of by you, i haven’t realized that my days would not be possible without you. i hate myself for that and i hate that i can’t accept the fact that i’m losing you and it’s all my fault. i can’t let that happen. i’m afraid to lose you. please ya Allah, i place my trust in you. tawakkaltu alaik ya Allah. please make it easy for me and keep my connection with you as close as i need it to be to get through everything in my life. please guide me ya rab. because i am in need.