ajwa

i don’t want this ramadan to slip through my fingers like the last one before it.
i don’t want it to end with the weight of regret sitting heavy on my chest.
counting the missed opportunities, the prayers i rushed through, the nights i let pass without asking for forgiveness and seeking guidance from Allah.

i don’t want to treat this month like a routine, one that is just expected every year
fasting and not eating all day, but starving my soul in the process as well.
i’ve done that before, let the days blend into each other, let exhaustion be my excuse, let the world pull me from what matters.

i have gone through the emotions of not feeling like i’m doing enough,
constantly battling whether my actions are worthy.
but it’s a struggle when you doubt yourself and in actuality Allah sees your efforts.

it’s not too late to try again. we’re only a few days in.
i want to change some habits that keep me from achieving what i desire.
from reciting the Quran without letting the words settle in my heart,
to praying and having a meaningful connection with Allah.

i want to wake up before fajr (sunrise prayer) and sit in the silence
when the world is asleep when it’s just me and my Lord.
i want to whisper my problems into the darkness,
to lay my burdens before the One who already knows what’s in my heart
to ask for guidance and actually mean it. to make dua with the certainty that what is meant for me will never miss me.

i want to fast with my heart, not just my body.
to guard my tongue and hold back my anger, even when it rises in my throat.
to be softer in the way i speak, to forgive even when i don’t hear an apology.
to let go of the bitterness i’ve held on for far too long.

because ramadan is not just abstaining – it’s about returning.
returning to Allah, returning to the person i was always meant to be.
and i don’t want to wait until the last ten nights to realize that.
i don’t want to carry the same old self into the next few months after ramadan.

so this time, i am staying present.
i am settling my intentions and holding myself accountable.
i am learning, reflecting, praying like my soul depends on it.
i am stepping closer to Allah, and i am not looking back.

and maybe, just maybe this month is over.
i won’t just feel lighter, i’ll feel whole again.

and you whoever you are,,wherever you are in your journey
i hope you do the same. i hope you pause and breathe in this month,
let it fill the spaces in you that have been empty for too long.

i hope you set your intention with sincerity, even if you don’t know where to start.
i hope you seek knowledge, even if it’s just a few minutes a day.
i hope you raise your hands in dua, even if your voice trembles.
i hope you give yourself a chance to feel the mercy of this month,
to return to Allah in whatever way your heart is ready for.

this ramadan is ours to make, let’s not let it pass by.

but what happens when the crescent moon fades,
when the iftar gatherings quiet, when the suhoor alarms stop ringing?
what happens when the world returns to the regular pace,
when the sweetness of ramadan feels like a distant memory?
what happens when we begin to crave this feeling again?

because the truth is, faith is not built in one month
it is not something we pick up for thirty days and then leave behind.
it’s something we nurture, something we return to
something that holds us even when we feel like we are slipping away.

and i know there will be days when my heart feels heavy again.
when my patience wears thin, and when my prayers feel empty
when the world tests me in ways i thought i was prepared for
but i’m reminded, between sabr and dua, i will always find my way back.

sabr isn’t just about waiting – it is trusting.
it’s knowing that what you’re praying for is delayed, not denied.
that Allah’s timing is not mine to control,
that every closed door is a mercy, even when i don’t understand it yet.

and dua isn’t just asking – it is believing.
it is speaking to Allah when no one else understands,
pouring my heart out, knowing He listens even in my silence.
it is knowing that even when i don’t have the words,
He knows what is in my heart and what i need.

because patience is not passive, and prayer is not just a ritual.
they are both the foundation of my. existence.
between sabr and dua, i will always find a way.

the journey doesn’t end when ramadan ends.
it continues, one step at a time, one prayer at a time,
one moment of trust at a time.

know that patience is never wasted, know that every prayer whispered is heard, know that Allah has not forgotten you.

and if you ever feel lost, return to the place where you last felt close to Allah.
surely, He will put your heart at ease and help guide you.