ajwa
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i don’t want this ramadan to slip through my fingers like the last one before it.i don’t want it to end with the weight of regret sitting heavy on my chest. counting the missed opportunities, the prayers i rushed through, the nights i let pass without asking for forgiveness and seeking guidance from Allah. i ↓
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dear younger me, i see you. sitting in the corner of your roomyour small hands clenched into fists. your head buried into your kneesholding onto words that were too heavy to carry, but too dangerous to let go. there’s a storm behind your lips, begging to be set free,but nobody stops long enough to hear ↓
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i’ve lost count of how many times i’ve held onto something too tightly, an idea, a plan, a hope – convinced it was meant to be mine. i told myself that if i just tried hard enough, it would come. and yet there were moments, when things didn’t work out. there’s a tough feeling to ↓
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there’s a weight that comes with starting again. something heavy that comes with trying again and again. from the moments i let fear decide for me. i’ve been let down before, by people, by dreams, by myself. i held too tight, by the version of myself that was too afraid to take a chance. but ↓
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in a world split by borders and beliefs, there remains one truth, our shared humanity. yet, as our countries suffer, the connection feels distantly lost. i find myself seeking the truth in a lot of what is happening in the world, searching for some understanding of even a hint of the sorrow that our people ↓
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in the quiet moments i found my voice not in the silence, but in the noises between.where thoughts became my words, and the pen became my compass. words flowed like rivers, through deserts of silence and valleys of feari wrote of my heart, of its wounds and its scars,of memories wrapped in the back of ↓
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you know, there’s times in life when words just don’t seem like enough.like when i see you hurting, the sound in your voice, the pain in your heart,and all i can do is stand by, wishing i could do more. how can i watch you grieve and not know what to do?it breaks my heart ↓
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my parents are my everything. alhmadulillah. forever grateful for what they did for me and my siblings,but especially for me, their daughter. growing up with the societal norms they were expected to followthey went against the crowd, ignored their critical staresand didn’t pay them no mind. in a village where traditions and customs held strongwhere ↓
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i thought that at this point in my life i would be settled. i would have a career set and my life would work out from here. little did i know that i would actually be in the hole i am in today, wondering where my next steps in life are headed. i didn’t think ↓
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through sunny days and moony nights, she praysto break away from the customs set forth,holding her back and preventing her from the countless opportunities she has always dreamed of. when she looks upon other women in life, she feels for their victory, always celebrating their success.but little does she have that same supportwithin her heart, ↓
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we find ourselves waiting for something that seems like it’ll never come. waiting on a change in our life, for things to get better or to move on from the place we are in. but the truth is, that some things may never come to pass, no matter how long we wait. life is too ↓
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i’m not as strong as i make myself out to be. i need help too. i need my family and friends. i need their love and support. but they’re not always there for me. i’ve grown so used to them being gone that i’ve learned to rely on myself instead. but it’s becoming too lonely, ↓
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you ever got so comfortable in your space that you want to stay away from the rest of the world? you take advantage of the moments that you have to yourself and you enjoy it. you don’t look to others for approval and you don’t mind what others have to say because ultimately you’re living ↓
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you’re doing it again. doubting yourself and you barely know it. you keep telling yourself you’re not gonna make it. and you don’t even know how far you HAVE made it. look where you are and where you were before. you don’t think you had to endure a lot to get to where you are ↓
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i keep telling myself to look at the future side of things to look at what’s coming for me in the future and not focus on now. but i’m putting myself in a bad situation by doing that. by not focusing on today, i’m stressing myself out for now for no reason. i mean what ↓
ajwa 